Tax The Rich?

 Haven't had much time or energy for writing this week, but I was having some thoughts about taxes and such that seem to go against the grain of many people that I know. A lot of people think that raising taxes for the “rich” will solve so many of life's troubles that it needs to be done immediately, if not retroactively. Even a few of the more affluent out there are making a noise about being willing to pay higher taxes and I think that's great. But why are they waiting?

You see, the idea is that we should force people to pay more in taxes so that the government will have more cash to help those who are less fortunate. The money could then be used to create more jobs, feed the hungry and build more houses. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? But what's the point?

If someone truly wants to help the less fortunate of the world there is no reason for them to wait until the government makes that assistance mandatory. They can simply write a check and take it to the nearest food pantry or shelter so that the funds are used immediately and locally. That way, the donor gets the benefit of seeing and knowing exactly who is being helped by their generosity. No bureaucracy to wait for, no committees to wade through, and no question of where the funds are going. The money goes from the hand of who has it to the hand of who needs it. Simple as that.

If, on the other hand, we take the money from those who have it in the form of a tax, the compulsory nature of the tax makes the giving less meaningful. In fact, it's not giving anymore...it's a tax; and those are two totally different things. A tax means that the government has a better idea how to use your money than you do, and that is completely untrue in most cases. Giving means that you see a need and are willing to meet that need with whatever you have available to you. Giving is willing, taxing is forced. Isn't it interesting that a person would say that they are willing to be forced to do the right thing while being unable to make themselves just do it? I think that our country would have a stronger sense of unity if we would all just do the right thing in the area of philanthropy instead of waiting for someone in Washington to make us do it. A helping hand from a neighbor is usually perceived as less threatening than a government hand-out, and it is easier to monitor for abuse. If I loan my friend some money to make his mortgage payment and he spends it on beer; guess what happens? No more loans! Accountability is better with local philanthropy and the money is used more efficiently. So, why would we rely on taxes? Really, does anybody want to pay more taxes? I don't think so.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist, but I don't think the celebrities who wave the “I'll pay more taxes” banner are very sincere. If they want to do something good with their money they will. If not, then higher taxes will just give them something to complain about while the money gets lost in the system.

So, what do we do? Lower taxes for everyone so that each of us can determine how to use our own resources. Stop turning our heads as we pass the homeless on the streets. Start visiting the shelters. Listen to others and live as a community so that needs are met as they come up. Stop waiting for “Big Brother” to tell us where to help and just do it. The we will be choosing to do what's right instead of waiting to be forced to.

Open Letter To Climax Springs

 To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Brett Davis and I am running for a place on the Climax Springs School Board. I am writing this letter so that anyone who is interested may know why I am running and what I hope to accomplish.

I grew up in a suburb of Dallas, TX and attended school in an extremely large school district. There were many benefits to growing up in large schools with a lot of resources. The kids who chose to take part in sports or music programs received top-notch training. We usually had the best equipment for the task at hand as well as opportunities to be active in a wide variety of extra-curricular activities.

We also had a very wide spread drug and alcohol problem in our schools. There were fights before and after school, and we had the occasional teen-aged pregnancy. I suppose that some of these things could be overlooked if all of the kids in the district were learning appropriately, but the truth is that our drop out and failure rate was no different than any other district. The sad truth is that some students will take advantage of the opportunity to learn while others simply won't. The school's job is to engage the students so that they get as much benefit as possible from their time in school.

For the past three years I have had the pleasure of watching my kids attend school in our new home of Climax Springs. I will have to admit that I was concerned at first because my wife and I had heard of “problems” within the school; however, my experience has been that whatever problems exist here, they are no different than what kids and families face all over the nation. Big schools, small schools, they all have drugs, alcohol, violence, teen pregnancy, and overall apathy to deal with. Also, they all have students who don't want to learn. Once again, it's the school's job to engage them so that they will want to.

There are some people in the area who feel that closing the Climax Springs School District would be the best thing to do. They cite all of the perceived problems with the school as well as low performance on standardized tests as reasons to do this. The idea is that moving our students to a larger school would allow them to get a better education simply because the school is bigger and potentially more efficient. This idea is false and I can't let people who think this way destroy a school that is no worse than most other schools and has the potential to be so much more.

I mentioned the good things about attending a large school earlier, but small schools have several features that are not available to kids in big schools. With fewer students in each class, the kids in Climax Springs get more one-on-one attention than they would get in a larger school. This extra focus on the kids lets the teachers identify problem areas that may get overlooked when they are forced to deal with more kids.

We have fewer after-school activities for the kids, but anyone who wants to be involved can. In bigger schools, athletics, music and art are sometimes an option only for the top performers. This means that a child who wants to play football may not be allowed to because they are not as good as another child. Someone who wants to play trumpet may never get the chance because the band doesn't need another trumpet player. In our school, if a kid wants to be involved he can be. This allows all of our students to try things that may not be available to them in another school.

There is also a sense of community within our school that I never experienced growing up. I know this can't be measured like a test score, but it is real, nonetheless. I would hate to see our children sent to a larger school, miles away, so that they can be swallowed up in a system that doesn't recognize who they are.

So, what are our options? The way I see it, we only have one. Make our school better than it is. Then, make it better than the other schools out there.

This can be done by refocusing on the basics: reading, writing and math. If a child has a firm foundation in these areas they can go on to learn almost anything. If we fail to teach them these basics, then no amount of gizmos, gimmicks and programs can help. Computers are useless to a student who can not read what is on the screen. Fancy software applications will never teach as well as a teacher.

I don't believe that technology is bad or that outside programs and curriculum are useless; they do have a place. But if they cause us to lose focus on the basics then they serve no purpose.

As a district, we need to be equipping our teachers to give the students a firm grounding in reading, writing and math while educating parents in ways to support and supplement these efforts in the home. As we do this, test scores will go up and grades will improve, not only in the basics but in all subjects. I don't think it will change overnight, but it will change.

Sincerely,

Brett Davis

Here Comes The Election

 The rapid approach of another national election brings to light many of the problems within the American political system. Our President, who has only been marginally effective for three years, loses all effectiveness for his last year of this term because of his focus on winning an additional term. I understand that some very popular decisions may come out of the Oval Office this year, but “popular” is not the same as “right” or “best”. Much of what is said and done by the President for the next several months will be geared toward getting re-elected as opposed to serving the best interest of the American people; while at the same time shoring up his defenses against an increasingly antagonistic Republican Party.

The biggest problem with the constant attacks of the Republicans is that they aren't each attacking the same target. Instead of finding a common goal and uniting to achieve it, all of the supposedly conservative candidates are spending every waking moment beating the hell out of each other for the right to be on the presidential ballot. Now, maybe I'm just an uneducated redneck, but if none of them can create an agenda that their own party can rally around what makes any of them think that they should be President?

Seriously.

The primary function of the Presidential Office is to represent the United States to the rest of the world, yet the right to sit in that office is being won or lost over who can yell the loudest and wave the most money around. Are these really the people we want to choose from? A lackluster President and a crowd of backstabbing cat-fighters? Please, tell me there is another choice.

There is another choice.

I remember an old Richard Pryor movie called Brewster's Millions. I won't go into the whole plot, but the climax came when Pryor's character had to tell the public, “I didn't want to get elected. I wanted to show everyone that they had a choice”. (My Paraphrase) The idea was that the choices on the ballot were so bad that Brewster ran on the platform, “None Of The Above”, but then found himself about to win the election when all he really wanted was for people to vote “None Of The Above”.

This coming November we will have the same opportunity. If we are truly dissatisfied with a system that gives us such poor choices in leadership we can each choose to vote for someone who is neither Republican nor Democrat. You see, in a political system that is dominated by two parties, any vote cast for a “third party” candidate is a vote for “None Of The Above”.

Someone may ask, “What's the point? If I vote for a candidate who has no chance of winning I just wasted my vote.” Nothing can be farther from the truth. If the winner on November 2^nd takes the election with only 41% of the popular vote because 20% of the people chose “None Of The Above”, a huge point will have been made. It will be very clear at that time that the man taking the Oath of Office does not come close to representing the majority of Americans. In fact it will say a lot that so many people would “waste” their vote as opposed to taking part in the sham we call a Two Party System. If a fifth of the voting population were to choose to vote for anyone who doesn't come from one of the two major parties those parties would have to wake up to the idea that they are representing themselves more than they are the American people.

Of course, this won't give us a better President this year, but what about in four years? It's possible that someone, somewhere might start listening to what the average man on the street thinks. Maybe someone will start to look at what is best for the nation as a whole instead of what is best for this group or that group. Maybe (I know, it's just a fantasy), maybe an “average” person could actually make a serious run for office. Then we could vote for someone other than an inflated bag of ego with deep pockets without “wasting” our votes. Wouldn't that be something?

What a dream.

I know that the choice that some folks will make is to simply drop out by not voting at all. They don't like the choices and would feel as though a third party vote is wasted, so they will choose to not vote at all. Here is the problem with that idea. If nobody votes against the system then the winner gets a larger percentage of the votes. You see, if the discontented voters don't vote, the vast majority of the votes will go to a Republican or a Democrat and a high percentage of votes for the winner gives the impression that he is who the people want in office. If the end result of this election is going to be one of our current choices, I would rather see the President go into office knowing that most of us don't want him there. Has a President ever started his term with a negative popularity poll? Ouch!

Like I said before, this approach will not fix anything in the immediate future, and I certainly would never try to tell someone else how to vote, but this is the direction I'm heading in: None Of The Above. It may not change anything ever, but it seems better than the alternatives.

Somewhere To Start

 I'm not a very good follower. Since I was a child I have had difficulty doing what I am told to do, or even doing what someone else wants to do. When the other kids wanted to play hide-and-seek, I preferred Cowboys and Indians (forgive me; Exploited Migrant Ranch Hands v. Native Americans). It's true that I learned to balance my wants with those of others at times, but the underlying drive in my life has always been to do things my way, on my time frame.

This approach to life has given me nothing but trouble for as long as I can remember. Trouble at home, trouble in school, and trouble with the law. If it weren't for those rare men who are worthy of following (SGT Weekes and CPT Pandol come to mind) I would have never survived my time in the Army. Autonomy and independence have always seemed to be more important to me than “playing well with others” and this philosophy has led me to a life of semi-seclusion because I find it easier to be away from people than to filter my thoughts and words lest I should offend someone. It's not that I don't like people; I just seem to think differently and it takes a lot of effort to explain myself in such a way that I don't come across as cold and heartless, or simply indifferent.

Unfortunately, I question my own motives at times. Am I separate because I'm independent, or am I independent so that I can be separate? That is an important question for me because one of the rules in our house is that no one can argue for the sake of argument. If you don't have a point that you are trying to make, if you simply want to antagonize someone, then don't go against the grain. This leads to a more peaceful home life and the kids seem to be learning to think before they speak; and when they do speak, look out, their ideas are not easy to refute. The problem is that I now wonder if I think differently so that I can enhance my independence, or do I just think differently? Or do I just think too much?

I've been questioning these things as I watch all of the preparations that go into choosing the next President of our nation, and this questioning makes me wonder if I am anti-American. (Insert Disclaimer Here: I consider myself to be a devout Christian as well as a true patriot of my country.) When I look at the direction that America is moving in today compared to what appears to be the direction envisioned by the men who got this whole thing started I find myself disgusted. Disgusted with our overall leadership, and disgusted with our apathy. It bothers me that our government tends to run against the best interest of the individual while the Constitution declares the importance of individual rights. It really bothers me that we have a political system that only seems to promote those who are willing to perpetuate the system, regardless of its failings. It really, really bothers me that any religious group would try to hijack the system when the primary reason for our forefathers' immigration to this continent from Europe was the desire to believe what one believes without persecution. But, what bothers me the most is that most Americans just don't care. As long as our personal boat doesn't get rocked too hard we just watch the world go by. It reminds me of the punch line of an old joke, “if you are happy and warm in a pile of manure, keep your mouth shut”.

After what I wrote earlier about arguing I don't want to come across as one who is picking a fight or stirring things up for no good reason. I just think it's time for Americans to take an honest look at the failings of our government and begin to look for solutions. I certainly do not think that I have a monopoly on the “right” answers. There may be no right answers. But, the least we can do is think about what we believe and how we act so that we can begin taking steps in the right direction.

The challenge for me is going to be continuing to write. I don't know if anyone will ever actually read this, but I need to get this stuff out of my brain to make room for more important things like hunting or playing guitar. So, I will try to keep putting these thoughts out there, and if anyone wants to join the discussion, then that's great. If not, then that's great too.

To Begin, Again

 I haven't written anything in a long time. Nothing of value at least.

It could be argued that nothing that I've ever written is of value, but that discussion might be better held at a different time. The point is that I feel compelled to begin again. To begin writing. To begin drawing. To begin creating music. Any of the creative processes that I've enjoyed in the past. Anything to minimize the mental feedback that resonates through my soul at the moment.

Looking back, I see that my reasons for not writing were rather foolish. Truly, there was but one reason. I felt that it was arrogant of me to assume that anyone would care what I have to say. There seemed to be no purpose in creating something for no one to see, yet it made me uncomfortable to share my thoughts with anyone other than myself because I was afraid that people would think that I thought my thoughts were important. So, for almost two years the creative urge has been silenced. I have read what others have written, enjoyed the art work of others, and, oddly enough, quit listening to music almost all together. Anything creative that may have come up inside me was simply turned inwards; thus the mental feedback.

So, here I am, with my laptop and my thoughts, wondering if there is a point to this. Maybe that wondering is the point. I can't say for certain that my purpose in life is to be a writer, but maybe I feel this need to wrestle with my thoughts and then write them out so that I can stay within sight of my own sanity. It could be that God designed me to sit on the brink of lunacy so that I can document the experience of staring into my own mind. Then, if some other poor soul happens to stumble upon what I have seen, they may learn that lunacy is universal; that we all go a little crazy when peering too closely at ourselves.

So it is not arrogance that leads me to write, draw or play music. It's self-preservation. Whether, or not, anyone else experiences the fruit of my insanity is irrelevant; the point is simply to create it. Whoever will be led to it will be led to it. Whoever will benefit from it will do so. Whoever will think that I have created garbage will still be affected in some way. The point is that it's time to turn my thoughts outward and eliminate the feedback.

Honestly, the noise in here is making me crazy.

Jigsaw Bible

I was thinking today about the way in which bad Bible teaching is passed from one generation to the next. The problem (or part of the problem) seems to be that we don't question enough of our theological upbringing. This would apply to those raised outside the Christian faith as well as those within it.

Those of a non-Christian family, as well as those who choose not to believe, have certainly heard things about the Bible and what it teaches, but whenever I hear them talk of these things it is painfully obvious that they don't actually have any idea what the whole Bible teaches. Most of them never even read the parts they try to quote! They have only a small snapshot of one part of a passage. To build a theological perspective based on these snapshots of the scripture is similar to looking at five pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and stating that you know exactly what the finished product will look like. It is an idea that speaks of insanity, yet if you will take time to talk with non-believers about their perspective of the Bible you are going to find that they most likely have major misconceptions which they hold to be truths simply because they haven't ever questioned them. With these misconceptions in hand they claim to have a picture of what the Bible teaches, and that picture becomes the focus of their dislike of Christianity (of course the hypocrisy exhibited by us Christians doesn't help).

The other side of the coin is the division among Christians which is caused by a lack of Biblical education. More properly, I suppose the problem goes back to questioning the education we have.

When a follower of Jesus becomes a part of a local church they will most certainly begin to absorb the teaching of that church, as they should. It is proper for those who are more mature in their faith to raise up new believers, whether they are children or adults. The problem we run into is that each church, or group of churches, will have certain distinctions that give them a certain “flavor”. That is not to say that the differences themselves are bad. We need variety in our worship so that all Christians may find a place that they are comfortable. The problem comes from us calling those distinctions “Biblical truth”.

Many differences, such as choices of music, styles of prayer, and method of baptism are truly irrelevant. There is nothing in the Bible to give us a concrete direction on these and many other things, but churches and denominations will declare that their way is the right or proper way, thereby creating an “us versus them” attitude. To make matters even worse, the members of a church will have a tendency to simply believe what they are told without ever searching the Scriptures on their own. We take what we are taught as if it were a Biblical truth and the pass it on to our children who will then raise their kids according to how they were brought up, and so the confusion continues.

Sadly, very few Christians will take the time to study the Bible well enough to actually know what it says. I mean the “Big Picture” here. Most of the small things don't really matter, but there is a cohesive plan that God has shown us that actually begins to make sense when we look at the whole thing in a balanced way. Sometimes we need to throw out what other humans have told us and just read our Bibles to see this plan!

I would never say that all Bible teaching is bad. Truth does come to us through past teachers, but this truth can become horribly distorted because, just like non-believers, we may only be holding a few pieces of the puzzle, which is fine. God is probably not going to reveal more to you than you can deal with at this moment (I can picture Jack Nicholson screaming, “You can't handle the truth!”). But we cannot take the pieces that we are holding and try to morph them into the entire image. This causes the area of focus to become more important than the part that may not have been revealed to you as an individual yet. Then, when later faced with more of the puzzle pieces, you are forced to change your perspective or ignore the new pieces. The first prospect is painful and humbling, the second perpetuates bad theology.

I wish that I had a solution to all of this. The problem has been around for a long time and people do not want to back down from their theological positions long enough to consider a different perspective. Maybe we Christians can find common ground in how Jesus loved people and do the same in our own lives; after all, we call ourselves His followers.

Atheists

It's interesting that Christians (or people of any religion) are accused by atheists and agnostics of being ignorant because our faith is based on an unseen reality.  We are told that since it is unseen that it must be subjective at best, and a complete fantasy at worst.  The idea is that no amount of evidence which might support our beliefs is credible because the core, or foundation, itself is not something that can be physically experienced.  This thought process goes back to philosophers such as Nietzsche, Kant, and Descartes who, of course, based their ideas on those expressed before them. The truth is that this is in no way a new idea.  There will always be people who don't believe in anything that can't be measured.

This really makes sense, at first glance.  Anything that is within our experience must be in some way measurable, right?  We can measure distance, sound, various forces, as well as many other things within our universe.  If there is no way to measure a thing, then the thing must not exist...right?  If I follow this line of thought all the way out I must come to the logical conclusion that spiritual entities such as God, angels or demons couldn't possibly be real.  Only the physical, measurable universe would exist.

How sad would such a world be.  A world without love, a world without beauty, a world without hope.  A place with no fear, or excitement, or pleasure, because none of these things can truly be quantified.  No truth.  No justice.  These are all subject to our whims and opinions with no foundation in reality.  Even reality has no measuring rod to determine its substance (how real is it?).  Everything that makes life what it is would cease to be in a world of no spirit.

The truth is that much of what we go through as humans is experienced in the spirit realm, a place we don't "go to", yet we are there anyway.  I won't try to tell you "what" or "where" it is because far more brilliant men than I have been unable to do so, but it is there.  It's there in the beauty of a spring day and the playing of our children, as well as the loss of a loved one.  It's the place where the intangible becomes tangible.

When a person denies the existence of God, they are denying that there is a spiritual part of our world.  Likewise, when one says that there is no spirit realm, they are saying, "there is no God".  Both approaches seem a very sad way to live.

God's Love Is Bigger Than I Think

I've become convinced that my understanding of God's love is like that of a man who stands on the shore, waves lapping at his toes, and thinks he knows the ocean.  He can obviously recognize that it is the ocean.  He may even know something of the ocean; its depths, tides, and temperature could all be know by a man who stands on the shore.  In the end, sadly, he still hasn't experienced the ocean in its fullness.  We can never really understand the power of the tide until we are in over our heads, rolling in the waves.  The depths are incomprehensible until we realize that the bottom is out of reach and the safety of the shore is too far away for our tired bodies to swim.  That is when a person can experience the enormity of the ocean; just beyond the edge of control.

That's when I know God; just beyond the edge of control.  As long as I have control He doesn't.  Whenever I am manipulating the situation and arranging life according to my will I am not allowing the omnipresent love of my creator to guide me.  My prideful arrogance says, "I can handle my own life.  I can make my own rules".  But God says, "only as long as you stand on the shore".  If I truly want to know (that is, experience) the depth and power of God's love, I must jump in...over my head...and swim very far from the safety of shore.  A place where the only thing saving me is the buoyancy of the very thing I fear.  Only then can I understand what it is like for God to control my life.  When I give up control.

Am I Simple Yet?

The Lord preserves the simple. - Psalm 116:6

The psalmist says that simplicity leads to salvation.  The simplicity of the childlike faith that Jesus spoke of.  Knowledge can make us arrogant, but faith acknowledges that we know nothing.  If we ever feel that we are in control and can rule our lives, we are not in a place where God has control.  When I am strong and powerful, God has no place in my life.  When I am weak and abased, God must be my life.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

How many times have I seen what I want and set out to achieve it, only to fail miserably?  And how many times have I submitted to His will, only to find my wildest dreams coming true?  The more I study theology the less I realize I know.  Just when I think that I could be coming to an understanding of God and who He is, I turn the corner into another mystery or paradox.  What I do know is that all my effort to do the right things is wasted.  Only when I simply rest in Him do I find peace as well as success.

Christianity 101

 A horrible misconception about the life of Christ-followers is that everything is about rules and regulations. So many people will never walk into a church building or engage in open dialogue about spiritual matters because they think that we will tell them to “clean up their act” or “get it together” so that they will be acceptable to God. There are two huge problems with this; first, nobody can make themselves clean enough to be acceptable to God; second, we actually are acting like we can!

Imagine that. The Bible we claim to believe states very clearly that all of our righteous behavior is meaningless (see Isaiah 64:6 and Romans 3:10), yet we try to tell the world to get righteous before they can meet God. No wonder people won't listen to us! The modern church is full of double talking Pharisees just as Israel was in the time of Jesus.

The sad truth is that we all are sinful humans who cannot come near to God without Him calling us. When sin entered the world through the disobedience of Adam, the relationship between man and God changed (see Genesis 3). Originally made in God's image, mankind is now a distorted image of Him. Left to our own devices, we will eventually succumb to our earthly nature which is at odds with God's divine nature (see Genesis 6 and Romans 8:7). What this means in practical terms is that a human is unable to be righteous in the eyes of God unless one of them has a change in nature. God does not change (see Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 1:10-12), so we must.

Paradox v. Contradiction

One of the most common problems we run into when trying to understand the Christian faith is the apparently contradictory nature of God presented to us in the Bible.  When studying the Scriptures it is hard to not become confused by conflicting ideas.  God is one, yet we know Him as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  He wants us to tell the truth and be faithful to our spouses, yet the Hebrews were assisted in taking the city of Jericho through a lie told by a prostitute named Rahab.  Jesus taught us to "turn the other cheek" and later told His disciples to carry swords as they went out into the world.  From our perspective these all seem like contradictions.  If we knew the whole truth, we would see that they are merely paradoxes.

The real issue at hand is our perspective.  When we finite humans attempt to understand something complex, we will quite often try to simplify it for the ease of comprehension.  There is really nothing wrong with this defense mechanism; it's just how we function.  We want to understand, so we shrink the incomprehensible to fit the framework of our understanding.  If two ideas do not seem mutually possible, then one of them must be wrong; according to finite humans.  When approached with the intellect alone God will always seem contradictory because our intellect is limited, yet God is unlimited, infinite, and incomprehensible.  Just as an ant's limited perspective keeps it from truly understanding the full truth of a foot stomping in the middle of its home, our limited perspective keeps us from truly understanding God and how He works.

Montana

The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways – I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows.

-Socrates, according to Plato

Montana died in a small town in Texas. Montana was nine or ten years old, depending on whose report you read. Montana hung himself in the boys' restroom at school. A very rare occurrence, it seems, because an expert in the study of suicide (nice job) said that self-inflicted death happens in young children only about five times a year in the U.S. This particular death struck close to home for the simple reason that it happened in my home town, in a school where I used to work. I didn't know the child or his family, but we don't need to know someone to grieve at their departure from this world. We certainly don't need to know someone to feel the stab of pain that his parents must be feeling (I have three children of my own). We don't even need to know someone to have an understanding of the pain that they must have experienced just before murdering themselves. I can still remember clearly the emptiness and agony that went hand-in-hand with my earliest suicidal thoughts.

I was only slightly older than Montana when I realised that death would be a relief from life. I had been bullied at school (some feel that bullying led to Montana's death), but that was not a reason to die. I was failing in most of my classes even though it was obvious to everyone involved that I knew how to do the work, but that was not a reason to die. The arguing and inevitable divorce of my parents was not a reason to die. I was very familiar with alcohol at the time and had begun to play with supposedly harder drugs, although I have no idea what makes pills and herbs worse than fermented vegetables. Still not a reason to die. The one-two punch of puberty and my first junior high dance was more devastating than any of these things, yet we all go through that. So why did I want to die?

I don't know.

Maybe it was because I was dealing with adult issues too early. Or it could be that I felt that quick, easy solutions are better than patience and perseverance. Maybe I was just a blamer and finger-pointer and, when I realised that no one was truly to blame, I simply turned on myself. Or maybe I was born with a dark, spooky psyche and death fascinates me. Does it really matter why I wanted to die? I tried to murder myself and failed. Several times.

The problem is that not everyone fails. A boy of ten decided that an unknown death would be preferred to the life he knew and hung himself. Now the finger-pointing begins.

Some will rant at the school for not recognising and dealing with the problem. Some will blame the parents for the very same failures. According to some, he was simply weak-willed and would have never succeeded anyway... I feel fine sharing that view because the same was said of me. Is “self-indulgent wimp” actually a medically valid diagnosis?

The truly sad part of all of this is that while we look for someone to pin the blame on we are continuing to allow children to die. You see, “they” are not the problem. We are. As a society we fail our children, and we perpetuate the issue by blaming everyone else.

We Americans have to wake up to the fact that what we value in our society is what kills us as people and individuals. We claim to believe in free speech, whatever that really is, yet we kill people over the words they say. We glorify sex in our art, literature and entertainment, yet act appalled when our children are aware of and active in their sexuality. We give money and possessions a dominant role in our lives and then wonder why the next generation is so materialistic and self-centered. Through video games and film we make the violence of combat out to be some grand adventure (I've been there, and it's not). Then, for some reason, we don't understand why kids are violent towards one another. And we cannot fathom why, in a society that acts as if there is no God, children grow up with no hope and turn the violence upon themselves. Of course, not every American behaves this way, but as a society...

The suicide of a child in America does not surprise me. It saddens me, but it doesn't surprise me. We adults act like children, and our children grow up too fast. We spend so much time chasing the "American Dream" that our kids are being raised by schools, daycares and video screens. Instead of fathers teaching boys to be men, and mothers teaching girls to be women, schools teach them to be androgynous nobodies. We let TV and Nintendo dictate morality rather than take that responsibility upon ourselves. And then we blame everyone else for the way the world is. We want the quick, easy solution. Unfortunately, raising kids, like changing society, requires patience and perseverance.

So, another child has fallen through the cracks. No one person or group is to blame. We all are. If you could go back in time and ask a Viking why he enjoyed going out to burn, rape and pillage, he would probably shrug his shoulders and say, “It's what we do. We're Vikings”. He would not understand that there might be something wrong with the way he lives. Why do we live the way we do? Because we're Americans. It's what we do.

Divine Economy

Mat 6:14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

The Lord informs us very clearly here that being forgiven by God is contingent upon our forgiveness of other people. This does not mean that we somehow earn His love or grace, but that it is His love and grace flowing through us which allows us to show forgiveness to others. When I am aware of how God has shown me mercy I am able to pass that on to people around me. If I don't realize how I have been blessed I can't pass it on.

It's like trying to give someone a million dollars. I don't personally have a million dollars, so I can't give you a million dollars. No matter how hard I try, it is impossible for me to give away that much money. Likewise, if I have never apprehended God's forgiveness, it can't flow through me. If I don't know that it is there, I can't give it away.

But, according to the verse above, if I give it away, I get more. In chapter 19 of Luke Jesus says that those who use what they have will receive more, but those who do nothing with what God has given will lose what they have. That's how the divine economy works. Give it up and you get more. Hold on to what you have and you lose it all!

If each one of us realized this, on something more than an intellectual level, it would transform the entire world. Possessions and money would become tools for good instead of measures of greed. Our thoughts towards other people would be focused on their needs instead how they might serve our needs. Grudges and resentment would become historical footnotes in a society driven by benevolence.

Firewood

There is something about cutting firewood that makes a person feel alive.  Maybe it's the knowledge that without firewood the winter will be very uncomfortable.  Or, maybe it's being immersed in natural elements that we modern Americans try to avoid.  Falling snow and bitter, cold wind are not our chosen companions most of the time.  Our whole way of life seems to be about the avoidance of discomfort, yet it is the discomfort that helps us to remember that we live.  Comfort brings complacency; discomfort brings awareness.  Given a choice between warm, snugly numbness and raw experience most of us would opt for oblivion.  It seems that many people would rather be dead than uncomfortable.  I would say that it is preferred to feel alive than dead.

Love

Romans 8:38-39 says "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  If it is in Jesus that I find the love of God, then I would be foolish to disregard Him in favor of my own desires.  Chasing after my own wants has always left me with an empty feeling at the end of the day.  Whenever I have chosen to chase after God's wants I have experienced contentment, even when the end result doesn't seem gratifying in a worldly sense.

Salvation

God's salvation was originally revealed to the nation of Israel but they, for the most part, rejected it through a desire to work their way to God.  Acts 28:28 says that salvation was then revealed to all nations and that they would listen.  I wonder how many people still think that they can earn their way into God's favour.  It seems painfully obvious that a finite, sinful human could never truly offer anything of value to a perfect, omnipotent God, yet we continue to believe that we can provide something He wants.  All He really wants is for us to come to Him in child like faith, and acknowledge that He is Lord and that Jesus fulfills the requirement for our righteousness.  Without that child like acceptance, we can never really please Him.  With it...the possibilities are endless.

Faith

We all want to be accepted, loved and provided for. Through our faith in Christ, His followers know that they have these needs met. Hebrews 11 says that the definition of faith is the manifestation of things we hope for but can't see. The object of your faith determines what you can expect.

I have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow, but the sun can only do so much. I have faith in my wife's love for me, but her provision for me is limited. I trust in Jesus for eternal life. According to John 3:36 He can provide that. If I have eternal life then there isn't much in this current life that can truly harm me. Now, that should inspire boldness.

Normal

One of the basic truths of the Christian faith is that "normal" is not always right. That means that "right" is not always normal. What I see by faith contradicts what I see in the world around me. That makes it very hard to stay on the path set before me.

Pelicans

Watched pelicans dive-bombing fish last night and wondered why they don't work harder to catch more fish. You see, they just fly around, in a leisurely fashion, waiting for fish to come near the surface of the water so they will be more easily caught. How lazy! If the pelicans were truly industrious (like us humans), they would create high levels of stress for themselves by collecting as many fish as possible in as little time as possible. Then they would find ways to store the fish safely, in case certain, less motivated pelicans wanted to steal the fish. Then, when most of the day was gone, they could frantically squeeze as much flying time as they can into what time is left.

But noooo...They just hover around, acting like God will just provide for their every need. Stupid birds.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Matthew 6:34

The Beach

I watched an older couple on the beach today as they played in the ocean and held hands and talked. Then I saw a young couple put sunscreen on each other before playing in the water. Why do I seem to want space from my family while on vacation? Instead of running and playing, I seem to want to run and hide. I love my wife and kids, but I sometimes feel the need to be back on the road, going to a new place. Or maybe an old new place. Or, maybe, this is just what a mid-life crisis feels like. Too old for young romance, but too young for that true comfort zone that comes with maturity and acceptance.